The Albion Hotel Grandeoso Challenge

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Date: 2009-09-16

We'd been hearing about it for a while. It was supposed to be Melbourne's biggest parma. And the record for eating it was nine minutes. Many parma eaters had come before us and failed. Some had succeeded, but had felt the after effects.

We are talking about The Albion Hotel's Grandeoso Parma.

Weighing in at 900g, this double decker phenomenon can only be tackled on an empty stomach (or a series thereof).

So out we headed one Wednesday night and the Hawaiian Grandioso parma was ordered. Upon arriving at the table it attracted many a stare from neighbouring onlookers. If first impressions are anything to go by, then conquering this parma was going to be a challenge. Had this been a mistake? A lapse in judgement perhaps? Should I have ordered the salad instead? Okay that wasn't even considered, but I did question if I should've ordered the standard parma instead.

But it was too late now. The Titanic had arrived, and it looked to be unsinkable.

To even attempt to finish this parma, a strategy needed to be employed. The chosen strategy – eat quickly before the mind decides the stomach is full. With this in mind, I started on the top deck and four minutes later, it was gone. I was off to a strong start, but this pace couldn't be held up for long.

Onto layer 2. Mouthfuls took longer to chew, the throat no longer as slick as it began. I was praying for an iceberg – so I ordered another beverage. With each swallow, my body begged me to stop. And I hadn't even got to the chips yet. But I couldn't stop now.

After a total of 20 minutes of solid eating, the parma dubbed as unsinkable was no more. With a stretched stomach resembling that of a pregnant woman, I placed the knife and fork down on the table and allowed the parma to settle.

It was over, and I never need to do it again.

Grandeoso Parma

  • 06 Nov 2011 20:54:42
    how is that parma a titanic ? is it because there is 2 chicken breasts ?? if so LOOK OUT .. it looks more like a boat you would use in the tub ...that parma if anything is a titanic fail .. come back and re post when you find one worthy of a challenge . SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
  • 14 Feb 2011 16:47:45
    looks like leftovers for the dog!
  • 15 Apr 2010 15:06:05
    But... did you finish the chips and salad?
  • 10 Feb 2010 13:57:56
    Not 100% sure, but I think it's a Wednesday only thing.
  • 10 Feb 2010 10:09:44
    Totally agree - very ugly. looks almost unprofessional. I bet if they had have know that meal was going to be photographed and put on the net they may have taken more pride in it's construction. (i'm still interested in trying one though...)
  • 04 Feb 2010 18:28:49
    Is the yellow/white looking stuff on the ham. Granted there wasn't a whole lot of cheese there. I've been back and had the "normal" parma since and it was pretty good. Certainly worth checking out.
  • 04 Feb 2010 16:23:30
    That is one ugly looking parma. Where is the cheese?

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